Dec 4, 2025
In this Clinician’s Corner episode, Clarissa and Molly dive into
what they lovingly (and accurately) call the “Hella-Days”—that
stretch from early fall through New Year’s where routines
disappear, food is everywhere, emotions are high, and nervous
systems are fried.
Together, they unpack why this season is so activating for people
with food addiction and nervous system sensitivity, and how to
navigate it with values, boundaries, and a whole lot of
self-compassion—whether you’re surrounded by family or spending the
holidays on your own.
In This Episode Clarissa & Molly explore:
Why the holidays can feel like the “Holiday Hunger Games” and “12
Days of Dysregulation”
How the nervous system responds to the build-up from September to
New Year’s
Using values as your North Star for holiday decisions
Boundary tools and scripts for parties, family gatherings, and food
pushers
Why holiday food environments are an “engineered stressor” (hello,
peppermint-everything marketing)
Strategies for:
Going to events without abandoning your recovery
Deciding when not to go
Coping with loneliness, isolation, and dark evenings
Harm reduction during high-exposure events (“good, better, best”
thinking)
How to re-imagine your holiday story over time instead of chasing
perfection
Ideas for folks who love the holidays (Clarissmas) and folks who…
don’t (Molly 😂)
They also share:
Personal stories of childhood Christmas expectations, sibling
dynamics, and parental pressure
How early family patterns still shape how we show up at the
holidays
Reframing relapse and “taking the bait” with relatives like Aunt
Linda (sorry, Linda)
Key Takeaways
You can use/adapt these directly in show notes as bullet
points.
Start with your North Star, not the menu.
Before the doorbells, casseroles, and Aunt Linda’s commentary,
ask:
What matters most to me about this season?
How do I want to feel when the day is over?
What will support my recovery and nervous system?
Let those answers drive your choices more than other people’s
expectations, panic, or cookies.
Boundaries are about self-respect, not punishment.
Boundaries define what’s okay and not okay for you. They’re about
taking responsibility for your experience—not policing others. As
Brené Brown says, “Clear is kind.” You don’t have to over-explain
or apologize.
Use positive, non-defensive boundary scripts. “I don’t eat
sugar” often triggers defensiveness and comparison. Instead, frame
your choice around how good you feel: “That looks amazing, but
I’ve been eating in a way that’s really helping my energy and
sleep, and I’m so grateful I found what works for me. Thanks for
understanding.” Or keep it simple: “No, thank you.” (A
complete sentence.) “I’m focusing on foods that help me feel
my best.”
Rehearsal reduces panic.
Visualize the event ahead of time:
Imagine someone offering food or a drink.
Practice your boundary script.
Role-play in group or with a clinician.
Like athletes using mental rehearsal, you’re teaching your nervous
system that this “scary” behavior is survivable and doable.
Don’t arrive hungry to the Holiday Hunger Games.
Skipping meals “to save up” for a party sets you up to be
biologically and emotionally vulnerable.
Eat a satiating meal (protein, healthy fats, veggies) before
events.
Then you can pause and ask, Am I actually hungry, or is this
emotional/relational?
Use “Good, Better, Best” instead of all-or-nothing.
When your nervous system is hijacked and the perfect choice isn’t
accessible:
Best: Aligned, recovery-supportive choice.
Better: Less harmful option if “best” isn’t realistic.
Good enough: Reduces harm in a very stressful moment.
This is harm reduction, not failure.
Plan your support system: exit strategies, grounding, and
non-food rewards.
Exit plan: Decide in advance how long you’ll stay and how you’ll
leave if overwhelmed (drive separately, ask partner to bring you
back to the hotel, etc.).
Grounding: Find a quiet corner, identify 5 things you can see, and
locate something visually “neutral” or pleasant you can keep
returning your gaze to.
Non-food rewards: Think saunas, walks, reading, play with
kids/nieces, skiing, time offline—let celebration include
regulation, not just consumption.
You don’t actually owe the holidays anything.
There is nothing magical about one date on the calendar that
couldn’t be created on another day. You can:
See important people in smaller, less intense doses throughout the
year.
Say “no” to events that are more away-moves than towards-moves for
your recovery.
Ask:
What does this event mean to me?
How might it impact my recovery?
Do I have the emotional energy for this?
If you’re alone or not celebrating traditionally, you still get
to have a holiday that fits you.
For folks spending holidays solo or outside of family systems:
Create new traditions: a favorite meal (yes, lobster counts),
comfort movies, lights-seeing drives, nature walks.
Consider volunteering (community dinners, toy programs), which can
shift perspective and foster connection.
Plan virtual connection: Zoom rooms, watch parties, scheduled calls
or voice notes, especially in the evenings when darkness and
loneliness hit the hardest.
Engineered holiday food environments are not a personal
failure.
Seasonal marketing is deliberately designed to trigger nostalgia,
emotion, and craving (eggnog-everything, gingerbread-everything).
It’s an engineered stressor, not proof you lack willpower. Your
brain is responding exactly as it was wired to; you’re not
broken.
You are not “starting over”; you are learning.
If you “take the bait” from Aunt Linda, eat off-plan, or get pulled
into old patterns:
You are not back at Day 1.
You collected new data about triggers, resources, and needs.
Recovery is peaks, valleys, and everything in between—that’s human,
not just “because you’re an addict.”
Your holiday story can change over time. Clarissa names how
her first, second, third food-sober holidays were hard—and now it’s
almost a non-issue. We can:
Re-imagine the script (like Disney re-imagining its
princesses).
Hold younger versions of ourselves with tenderness.
Trust that practice, time, and patience reshape the season.
Resources Mentioned
Sweet Sobriety Free Holiday Guide (PDF)
~22 pages of:
Reflection questions to use your values as a North Star
Boundary scripts and language examples
Planning prompts for events, food, and nervous system care
👉 Link to download on website
Contact / Listener Questions
Have a holiday strategy that worked for you? A topic you’d like
Clarissa & Molly to cover in a future Clinician’s Corner?
📩 Email: foodjunkiespodcast@gmail.com